Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
