I can tuck mytits in my pants
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
