She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize