i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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