ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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