dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
