College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
