i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
