i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize