i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
