My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
