Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize