My nipple is on Facebook.
i would punch a child for taco bell
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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