I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
