On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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