don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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