i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
