NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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