I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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