Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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