Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
