You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
