She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
