My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
