Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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