I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
