one two three fourrrrnication!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize