when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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