i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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