As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I am spending my child support on dildos
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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