Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
