Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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