Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
