Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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