mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
