I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
