I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
