Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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