So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
