He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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