I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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