Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
