Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
