Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
