in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
