white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
