'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
