There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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