I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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