She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
