i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
