You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish you could order shots online.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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