we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
