It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
