About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
