Jerry, you need to find god
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
