I hate all girls vehemently.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
