i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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