I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
