69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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