Me too!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize