Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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