i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
