Banned from zoo.
Again?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize