NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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