my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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