maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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