you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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