Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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