That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
