: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
