What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
