please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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