You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
