Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
