Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize