WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
