I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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