i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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